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Most of us have bad neighbours or maybe it might be work colleagues, 'friends of friends' or could even be family members. We see these people often, daily even and they constantly remind us of the negative aspects of human behaviour. They might speak harshly of everyone else, always having an opinion which seeks to put others down. They lie, embellish, cheat and boast of their own achievements and how they win in situations over others. They promise much and deliver little. The world revolves around them, whilst they fight to maintain their own position within it regardless of anyone else and they will defend against every every attack on their rights, their needs and the selfishness of others not meeting their demands.
How do you deal with people that you have to get along with?
So, each time you meet, each time you see them and engage in conversation, you feel obliged to be polite and courteous to them, you agree and listen, you acknowledge all they have to say - after all, you have to live next door, you have to work next to them, they are friends with your close friends, they might be your brother, your sister or even your parents. And it continues, day after day, month after month, year after year. Saying nothing, remaining silent, observing, absorbing and avoiding conflict.
But inwardly, what do you really think, and what do you truly feel?
Do you find your Self becoming judgmental of their actions and words? Does your outward behaviour and responses actually match your inner feelings? Is it actually you that think harsh thoughts of that person? Are you lying and cheating them by not saying what you truly feel? Are you promising your nice responses and not delivering real meaning in your words? Are you sponsoring the world they have created around them by continuing to support their position within it, after all they wouldn't listen to you from their deeply embedded and fixed mindset anyway. And how many other versions of the same behaviour do you encounter daily in every aspect of your life, whether out shopping, in the club, at the meeting and even online via multi media communications which just add to the inner conflict taking place?
Do you just keep it all within and suffer silently?
It might seem harmless to keep it all within and not voice the thoughts and feelings you truly have running through your energy body. However, your body and your mind are going to react anyway by constricting, condensing and reducing the flow of healthy energy that passes through you. Your energetic chakra system is already attuning to this energy in search of embedded triggers, emotional memories and activated responses. Your body will hold these energies within you in the form of stress, unresolved issues, unprocessed conflicts. Your mind will dwell on these mean thoughts, they will circulate and create mini conversations. You may talk to other friends, colleagues, family members, and they agree with you reinforcing the feelings you have, burying them further, embedding them deeper within. Inwardly this turns to anxiety, frustration and anger. Anger with nowhere to go is never a good place to find yourself. It transmutes into another form, Revenge, which has far deeper consequences.
How do we deal with the feelings that arise?
Knowing all that has been written above does not stop the feelings we receive from Others or avoid the conflicting and constricting emotions that arise as they animate within. We, ourselves are the only Beings who can interrupt that process and replace what we feel with a new emotion. It is our own nature that we seek to work on, and by doing so, adjust and adapt ourselves to the constant flow of energies that surround us based on the nature of Others. To constantly believe that it is Others than need to change is to continue to fight a battle that first began when man left the caves behind him and sought to establish communities with others with similar needs for mutual survival. That need reaches its highest form when a few self-chosen individuals seek an ordered solution that involved tribes, kingdoms, countries and now a whole world population.
How much longer are you going to continue to fight against all the battles taking place around you?
Most people seek to protect their world, the world they believe that exists around them. Whether awakened or asleep, aware or ignorant, religious or atheist, red party or blue party, masculine or feminine - division exists within duality, the polarity of a population, the culture of a civilization. The Natural Order of Life is to live and thrive within the Chaos of Nature. That which cannot establish Order will cease to continue existence. Man seeks order over life by controlling the forces of nature, both planetary and people.
What is the thinking and feeling process of most people established within their own created positions?
Consider a scenario when an individual goes out from their home. Just prior they were playing with their children, gently resolving their sibling disputes, stroking the cat, chatting to the neighbour - a picture of perfect tranquility and calmness. Driving along in the car, another driver cuts into their lane causing them to brake sharply. The previous calm emotions fly out the window together with a torrent of abuses and expletives aimed at the inconsideration and ignorance taken by the other driver. Suddenly, the victim becomes the abuser, the peace keeper becomes the righteous and passiveness turns to demonic rage.
Humanity exists within the wrongdoings of everyone else, but never ourselves.
The battle can only be fought and won from within you.
The Bad Neighbour lies within everyone, all emotions and reactions and triggers lie buried within waiting for the right moment from which to spring forth into this world. You consider that you don't cheat people - but you might still choose to take advantage of a situation that favours you rather than sacrificing your position to another. You consider that you don't lie to people - and yet you would rather not truly reveal your thoughts and feelings to your boss to avoid upsetting the delicate balance of favouritism and preferential treatments when it comes to overtime or holiday allowance. You do not seek to break your word - but are happy to invent a variety of last minute excuses not to attend someones party, wedding or other potential boring and unrewarding event. So, within you lies the complete collection of attributes, behaviours and habits that cover both negative and positive reactions to every form of human interaction possible. And all that is needed is a required set of circumstances that will provoke and create that hidden behaviour being explosively presented to the focus of your attention. How in control are you of your behavioural responses and how in control do you believe that others are based on their own individual triggers and emotional reactions?
All Others hold the same power over Self that you do.
What lies within Others - lies within you also. Few see themselves as choosing to act negatively, they will always have a reason to say what they said or do what they did. But you can easily see negative behaviour in nearly every living soul that you know.
You are the Bad Neighbour to all those who see in you what you see in Others.
How do we start to change own own behaviour to act positively instead?
The Awakening Process starts the spiritual journey of looking at our own nature and seeking to balance and accept this internal energy that exists within ourselves. You are not looking at creating barriers and preventing or avoiding the flow of your nature but rather to look at the way you react and respond to the external stimulus that creates disharmony within you. This is done without judgement, without creating guilt or shame at the honest realisation of who you are, by just looking at what is happening, the flow of energy, how it affects you and how you can consider looking at alternatives to what you would naturally do - by choosing another emotion or another behavioural response.
What if someone else is the cause of me becoming negative towards them?
No blame is occurring towards you or to others, you are not looking to see what is causing the trigger, just the way you are responding to it. Once you see where you used to choose a lie or attribute blame over the situation, you can look to find where that distortion is taking place and resolve it by healing that within you. There are no rules to follow, it might take time, patience and perseverence, as you find a way to transform that emotional response into Love, being the highest form of emotional response that does not involve the need to lie, cheat, distort into negative energy. It takes effort and honesty with a need to go deeply within. It may require others to show you all that you are and will continue to reveal and test you against all that still remains within you. Each time you achieve a new level, another will reveal itself.
Ultimately you are seeking Love for yourself, love for your neighbour, love for mankind, love for this world.
To Love and be Loved without restriction of the flow of energy that exists between you and all things.
With Loving Blessings,
Paul Dobree - Carey